365 Days of Fun in Marriage

No more boring marriage! Try 365 for communication and ideas to add fun to everyday life.

Working through Anger

April6

Tip 341

Count to Ten

from Clipart.com

You aren’t going to have fun in marriage if you get ticked off at everything little thing in life. We’ve all heard the clich√© “count to ten.” That’s supposed to represent a cooling off period so you don’t lash out with your first thoughts. For me, the idea of counting to ten did nothing; I always needed to count to maybe, ten-thousand instead.

When you want to lash out, it’s best to ask yourself “is this really a problem or is it just a problem to me?” If it’s only a problem to you, then you might consider learning to overlook the problem.

If it’s a real problem, then instead of lashing out which rarely does any good, try leaving the room for a few minutes. Force yourself to think about something else.

Thoughts can be hard to control or more aptly, manipulate, when they want only to ignite with flames of anger. By leaving the room you can’t as easily lash out. Pick something up or feel of something and force yourself to concentrate on how something feels. If you pick up a magazine with nature photos, concentrate on how the glossy paper feels. Look at how the magazine is attached in the center. Count the number of ads in the magazine. All this is just example of forcing yourself to focus on something else.

The point is to put as much concentration as possible on something else for a few minutes. These cooling off minutes should allow you to communicate with a little more rationale and a little less vehemence. A few misplaced words can spoil a whole evening, day, or week. Misspoken words embed in memories far too easily.

What do you think? How do you handle it when you are angry–or do you never get angry with your spouse?

~ Glenda (gj)

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