365 Days of Fun in Marriage

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Today Is All You Have

March9

Tip 313

Past Present Future

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Have you ever talked to someone with whom you never hear anything new? It’s the same old stories every time. You almost want to shake the person and yell, “Don’t you ever have anything going on in your life now?”

It’s easy to live in the past. It requires no energy.

Though it’s fun to make goals (and everyone should make goals), it is also a cop-out to live only with future “what if’s.” Whether those thoughts are creative goal setting what if’s or worrisome what if’s in fear of something bad happening, it’s still living in the future.

It’s hardest to live in the present. Yet, this is the only moment you are guaranteed—and that might not even be a full 60 seconds from now.

To enjoy your relationship with your mate, shift your focus to now. Learn to enjoy whatever you are doing now. The past is past; you can’t change it.

You can make plans for the future, work towards those plans, and be excited about what is to come, but don’t let the future monopolize your life.

Have you ever been with someone when their eyes almost glaze over? It doesn’t matter if you are talking with them, playing a game, watching a movie together, anything. His or her body is next to you, but the mind is completely somewhere else, and it’s not on what is happening now.

How does that make you feel?

If you can take out or reduce the “I wish I would have . . .” and the “I sure would like to . . .” phrases in communication to focus on your life at this moment, you’ll learn to appreciate what you have now.

What do you think? Do you live mostly in the past? Mostly in the future? How do you learn to live in the present?

~ Glenda (gj)

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