365 Days of Fun in Marriage

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Do You Love Your Spouse?


Tip 205

Who Comes First with Your Love?

This is not a theology debate so I don’t want anyone saying, “but you are supposed to love. . . .” I know that. We know that. You are to love God more than anything in the world, but we take that as an assumption of truth.

So the question is, “Who do you love the most, second?” OK, let’s take our kids out of the discussion, too. So, is everyone on the same page now? Can we safely ask “Who do you love the most?”

For sake of argument we’ll say that everyone said, “Oh, there’s no question. I love my husband/wife more than anyone!”

Prove it.


You walk into the house at the end of a long day. Your spouse is in the living room. You suddenly have a huge smile on your face and talk sweet talk and give Fido a huge hug. You look up and say, “Hi, honey” and go to the next room and drop all your belongings/coat/briefcase, etc.

You walk back in and pleasantly ask your spouse, “How was your day?” as you reach down and pull Fido or Fluffy or Furry Paws onto your lap and give it another fondle behind the ear and wrap your arms around it—I say “it” because most Fidos and Fluffies have been neutered.

Sure, your spouse is used to the second class treatment. And, it’s true, your spouse doesn’t jump all over your feet demanding affection. Your spouse is patient. Fido isn’t.

Do you ever hear the words “You love Fido/Fluffy more than you love me.” Maybe your spouse would feel elevated just slightly in the animal kingdom if you gave him or her a big hug, too, when you first came home.

It might be a neat idea if you try talking to your spouse, too, as much as you talk to Fido or Fluffy. It is true that Fido and Fluffy don’t argue back and they always agree with you and your spouse isn’t always as agreeable, but it’s worth trying anyway.

Here’s an idea: try noticing how much time you spend in sweet talking or holding/hugging your spouse and seeing if it even comes close to the amount of time you spend with Fido or Fluffy.

Who comes first in your love life? You can tell us in the comment section below.

~ Glenda (gj)

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