365 Days of Fun in Marriage

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Personal Journaling


Tip 193

Writing about Insecurities

from Clipart.com

Many people keep journals whether they call them that or not. They could be formal journals of everyday events, scribbles in notebooks here and there of fun activities, notations of eventful things that happen with their marriage and family, or long-term goals to reach and steps to get there. Some people write out prayers as a journal.

However a person wants to do journalling is right–almost.

We assume our journals aren’t going to be read by anyone else, but let’s think about that. If it’s written somewhere, someone is bound to find it. So be careful of what you write. You could unwittingly destroy a relationship.

Fragments is a new book just released of 1950’s actress, Marilyn Monroe. The book is a collection of her writings of notes, letters, poems, and thoughts. In a Today show interview on MSNBC.com video, it was said that after Marilyn found something in her husband’s own journal (playwright Arthur Miller), she penned the following:

“I guess I’ve always been deeply terrified to really be someone’s wife since I know from life one can not love another ever really.”

She wrote this after she read in Miller’s journal that he was sometimes embarrassed and disappointed in her.

How crushing to read something like this that your spouse has written about you.

If you journal, try never to write anything that you would not want your spouse to read if found. You may be angry or disappointed and tempted to write hurtful things, but don’t. We all feel less than loving towards our spouses sometimes (see the 365 post for May 3, 2010), but to write something like that can make things far worse than you probably meant at the time. If something like this is found at a later time, the words are usually taken completely out of context, and they’ll demoralize your spouse—no matter how many years after the writing that it might be read.

One of the wisest adages says “think before you speak.” It’s especially true to think before you write.

Words can’t be taken back.

~ Glenda (gj)

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