365 Days of Fun in Marriage

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Be Willing to Change


Tip 186

No One Is Immune

We all need improvement. Some of us need more improvement than others. Some of us are stubborn and resist change!

The sooner a person realizes others “might” have viable ways of thinking and doing, the sooner his or her relationships will improve.  (The word “might” implies how hard it is for some to admit others could be right.)

from Clipart.com

Jack Nicholson, co-starring with Helen Hunt, in the movie As Good As It Gets is a prime example of someone who thinks he is perfect (and is a perfectionist with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). 

Yet, it’s obvious to everyone else that his personality is in the dregs. Ninety-nine percent of the people would not think Jack Nicholson’s character has anything worth refurbishing. Not only does he manage in a single movie to malign the character of blacks, gays, Jews, women, artists, police, a little old lady, a doctor, a bartender, but the real movie clincher begins with him picking up and shoving the absolutely world’s cutest dog (my description) down a garbage shoot. Now, that’s despicable!

Later in the movie he’s trying to take Helen Hunt on a date to an upscale restaurant. He’s denied entrance because the dress code is coat and tie, and he has neither. He refuses the coat and tie offered by the establishment because it might have cooties. He leaves to buy a new coat and tie. On coming back to the restaurant with a new coat and tie on, he looks at Helen Hunt and says, “They make me buy a new outfit and let you in a house dress. I don’t get it.” Jack Nicholson’s character not only has OCD but what seems to be a rabid case of foot and mouth disease!

Thankfully, as the movie progresses, glimmers of redeeming values emerge in Jack Nicholson. You catch the idea he’s not 100% rotten with rudeness and self-centeredness.

However, things have gone so badly in their dialog exchange that Helen Hunt looks at Jack Nicholson and demands that he give her a compliment, after which she defines compliment. A pivotal statement follows to show he wants to “become” someone whom Helen Hunt could love.

He tells her, “You make me want to be a better man.”

Of course, this is all movie script, but examine your own interactions with your spouse—and with other people. It requires you to be a little introspective and for some, this is difficult. Your spouse is not always the best person to cue off of because he or she may love you so much that your “glaring faux pas” are overlooked.

Learn to step outside yourself to observe how other people relate to you. Watch their faces and their body language. Listen to their responses to you. How are you treated when in the midst of a group of people?

Of course, you can’t be all things to all people, but if most people give you the same negative vibes, you might need some changing. You should want to be the best marriage partner you can be.

For things that need to change, start work today. Don’t rely on “I was born this way” or “this is as good as it gets.”

Have thoughts about this? You can comment below.

 ~ Glenda (gj)
• www.WhatWordsDoYouWear.com
• www.GlendaSchoonmaker.com
• www.BoogsPuddifer.com

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