365 Days of Fun in Marriage

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Movies That Make an Impact



Tip 2

Do You Like Your Spouse

Don’t we all have movies that we remember for making some sort of impact on us? Either they remind us of a situation, or they are so well done, or the story line just stays with us? In 2004, there was a movie, The Notebook. I’ve seen it 4 or 5 times and my nose still runs and my eyes water every time I watch it—must be my allergies or something. The love James Garner’s character has for his wife who is suffering from Alzheimers, just radiates through the screen. Can you think of movies that make an impact on you emotionally?

cover of my Oscar's programThere was a movie I saw eons ago when I was 16 years old. At first I thought the movie was impactful because I’d won a trip to the Oscars (Motion Picture Academy Awards) because of a contest I won related to that movie. In looking back though I realized why the movie made such an impact on me. It was something James Stewart’s character said in the movie, Shenandoah. He played a widowed father named Charlie Anderson who was trying to keep his family intact and out of the civil war battles raging all around his acreage.

A scene in the middle of the movie has a suitor (Lt. Sam) asking Charlie Anderson for his daughter’s hand in marriage:

Charlie Anderson: Do you like her?

Lt. Sam: Well, I just said I…

Charlie Anderson: No, no. You just said you loved her. There’s some difference between lovin’ and likin’. When I married Jennie’s mother, I-I didn’t love her – I liked her… I liked her a lot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do… still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin’ her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun.

It is strange how that scene made such an impression on me, especially since at that time I’d never been on a date. I didn’t start dating until two years later when I was eighteen (that’s another long story). Somehow though, the idea stuck with me that to have a good marriage you have to “like” not just love the person you intend to marry. I’m glad I listened.

Do you like your spouse?

My husband and I have been married almost 40 years, yet I still think about the lines from that movie.

Keep your ears perked. You never know what wonderful lessons you might learn in the strangest places.

~ Glenda (gj)

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